Psychic at NYTimes?
We'll know tomorrow night... On July 11th, Andy Borowitz filed this report:
Planning for the 2004 vice presidential debate is already under way. In an attempt to level the playing field, Senator John Edwards's image will be digitally altered to make him 40 percent less "hot looking," and Vice President Dick Cheney will be on a five-second delay. Finally, each man has submitted a wish list of questions to ask the other during the high-stakes face-off.
QUESTIONS FOR DICK CHENEY
1. Former Senator Alfonse D'Amato has suggested President Bush dump you from the ticket. What's your response to him, in two words?
2. If Halliburton and the Carlyle Group both invited you to the movies on the same night, who would you go with?
3. Over the past four years, how many days would you say you spent above ground?
QUESTIONS FOR JOHN EDWARDS
1. Who made the final out in the 1954 World Series?
2. What do you have that Dick Gephardt doesn't have, besides eyebrows?
6. On the night Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon, which pajamas were you wearing, the ones with the cowboys or the ones with the ducks?
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