Sunday, September 11, 2005

Funny because it's true

Blah3 has this transcript of Bill Mahler's monologue. He starts by suggesting a 'California-style recall election', then goes on:

Now I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you anymore. There’s no more money to spend—you used up all of that. You can’t start another war, because you also used up the Army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush Family Nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your mom: the cupboard’s bare, the credit card’s maxed out, and no one’s speaking to you…mission accomplished! Now it’s time for you to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service…and the oil company...and the baseball team. It’s time. Time to try on the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?


You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes. On your watch we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you’re just not lucky. I’m not saying you don’t love this country, I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So yes, God does speak to you, and what he’s saying is: “take a hint.”

Regular readers will know I'm fond of saying that 9/11/01 was the luckiest day of George Bush's hapless, worthless life. I keep hoping his luck will run out before ours does... Oops, too late.


Post a Comment

<< Home