Cheney to remain above ground!
Heh - this just in, from Newsweek:
Cheney to Spend a Month Above Ground
Will expose himself to sunlight to boost White House approval ratings
Sept. 20, 2005 - Vice President Dick Cheney said today that in an effort to pump up the White House's anemic approval ratings he would remain above ground for an entire month and would not return to his secure, undisclosed location until November.
But according to Dr. Lars Krenzel, a scientist who studies the habitats and migration patterns of vice presidents for the University of Minnesota, Dick Cheney's extended visit to the earth's surface means "a journey into the unknown." "There is no way of predicting how Dick Cheney will respond to the earth's atmosphere," said Dr. Krenzel. "One thing is certain, however: whether he is above ground or below ground, his Halliburton stock will continue to rise."
Elsewhere, NASA said it would return to the moon by 2018, and FEMA said it would return its phone calls by 2020.