Psychic predictions

Psychic Kate, from the Rocky Mountain Bullhorn, has some startling glimpses into the future:

Such a huge disturbance in the force as the recent disaster on the Gulf Coast can’t help but stir up the psychic soup—not to be confused with the toxic soup slowly returning to Lake Pontchartrain.

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The idea of running the government like a business will be finally laid to rest—and Ross Perot apologizes for bringing it up in the first place.

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In an unprecedented moment of clarity, the Transportation Security Administration will begin a massive effort to reunite confiscated nail clippers with their rightful owners.

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The Presidential Medal of Freedom awarded to Michael “Glad That’s Over” Brown will be confiscated by Chief Justice Arlen Specter.

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