Thursday, October 27, 2005

Compulsively hitting 'reload'

Things you discover while hitting 'reload' on the CNN homepage:

The Detroit News reported Thursday that management at the company's Michigan Truck plant in Wayne, Mich., issued a memo in which it said too many of the factory's 3,500 hourly workers are spending more than the 48 minutes allotted per shift to use the bathroom.

The extra-long breaks are slowing production of the Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator sport utility vehicles that are built there, the company said.

"In today's competitive environment, it is important that Michigan Truck plant immediately address this concern to avoid the risks associated with safety, quality, delivery, cost and morale," the memo said, according to the paper's report.

First, I can guarantee that there's nothing sure to improve my morale like timing me in the bathroom. Management cares!

Second, parse that last sentence. Break it down into its components. "Avoid the risks associated with safety?" Yeah, safety has always been a pretty risky business.

Screw that - Ford's problems aren't bathroom-related; their managers can't think.


At 12:00 PM, Anonymous sasha said...

Actually, strictly speaking I think it means they can't write. Or that they can only write in management -speak, which is so terrified of actually saying anything that instead of "dangerous behavior" or "insufficient attention to safety procedures" (which is bad enough), you have the "risks associated with safety".

And are the bathrooms so bad that they represent a safety risk? Wow.

At 2:22 PM, Anonymous Ace said...


And how do you know that you weren't being timed in the bathroom when you were a "wage-slave"? All those "staff-weenies" had to be doing something...

At 2:38 PM, Blogger Arachnae said...

You were the only boss I had that I had reasonable confidence knew how to operate a stopwatch, and I'm pretty sure you had more important things to do. Correct me if I'm wrong, in either instance (knowing how and having important things.)

At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Ace said...

I can say without even a miniscule pang of conscience that I never even considered the idea of timing anyone's bathroom tenure.

I guess you were saying something nice about my competencies in your commentary - or at least I choose to take it that way. But you never know what kind of "oversight" managers might effect in the pursuit of excellence. :-)


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